More Catch UP

Ah. The continuation of all the shit I’ve watched but not blogged about.
Let’s start with the big guns first.

Up – Fantastic. I am a complete sucker for Pixar (minus Cars) and will follow them to Hell. This is one of their best. Three tear-up moments, those bastards. They make the best animated flicks out there and some of the best flat-out movies and this one does not disappoint.

Drag Me To Hell – Sam Raimi, you mad bastard. I love you. Going back to his crazy splatterhouse roots, this is the Raimi that only occasionally shone through in the Spider-Man movies. And it’s a blast. Not much blood, but every other nasty you can think of and more. Also, a possessed goat who is my new favorite…ANYTHING and the Deadite dance. Great great movie.

On to the rest!

Terminator:Salvation – It’s fine. It didn’t molest me. It’s better than the third, which I kinda like, but no where near as good as the first two. Ultimately forgettable, I had to search back to remember what I’ve seen the past couple of months, but it did it’s job by keeping me entertained for an hour and a half.

Taken – Mostly Liam Neeson being super bad-ass and wrecking foreign dudes' shit. No problems with that. Takes awhile to get started, but once faces are being destroyed, it’s quite a ride to the end. Honestly, it’s what 24: The Movie should be, were it melted down into 89 minutes of people maiming.

Hulk VS. – Ehhhh. It’s a violent Hulk cartoon. The Thor one was kinda boring. The Wolverine one was kinda cool. Deadpool was fun. Not terrible and not for kids.

Benjamin Button – David Fincher is great. Brad Pitt is cool. Anti-aging technology is awesome. Cate Blanchett is smoking. Benjamin Button is…boring? Maybe plodding is the word. Fincher doesn’t seem interested in the movie at all. It looks good, but I just didn’t care. Button isn’t a character so much as an occasional catalyst and full time observer and it’s hard to hang a nearly 3 hour movie on that. Ohh, now if he was The Observer, that would an entirely better movie.

Top Gear - Awesome. Love it. Go watch all you can get your grubby mitts on.

Splinter – Solid little horror flick. Decent characters, fucked up business and a cool monster. I guess. You can’t see it cause every time the damn thing shows up, they shake the camera like Michael J. Fox in an earthquake hopped up on meth.

My Bloody Valentine 3D – Didn’t see it in 3D, but it wouldn’t have changed my mind. Not bad. Really bloody. Tits, ass AND vag, so, well done. Kind of a mystery, which has a bullshit ending that I totally saw coming. But I watch too many movies.

JCVD – Opening is awesome, monologue is very well done. Rest of the movie is slight. It’s not bad, but they could’ve had more fun with it. A little too serious, maybe? More tongue in cheek would’ve probably done wonders.

Dead or Alive – I rented this because I heard, obviously mistakenly, that it was an inspiration for Crank. It’s not boring per se, just underwhelming. It’s Miike, which means fucked up shit is present, in the form of actually shit, but it’s mostly this cop and crook drama. Although the end is apeshit.

Look – Wanky, Crash bullshit. Filmed all with security cams. Trying to tell this incendiary story about how all our lives, every tiny moment, big to small, is no longer private and captured everywhere for someone to see. *Yawn* Teenage tits at the beginning, which did at least keep me interested well past my normal expiration date.

Old School – Ok, I guess. Nothing exciting. It’s the same shtick I’ve seen Vince and Will do since then, so maybe that’s why it just seems burned out. Another one of those bullshit, “college is the best thing to happen to anyone ever and real life just gets in the way so never have any responsibilities SPRING BREAK WOOO!” movies.


Whew. All caught up.