My Dinner While Watching My Dinner With Andre

It was just some guacamole. I needed to test it, make sure it wouldn't kill guests.

Now, as for the movie...

Better RED Than Dead

Oh, I'm so clever.

Dear Zachary Will Wreck You

I'd heard about this documentray. About how it leaves you in a quivering pile after sucker punching you in the heart for an hour and half.

They weren't lying.

God, It's Been Awhile

I'm a terrible blogger. If I can, I'm going to do my best to get back into it.

So, let's talk about Summer Wars.

More Catch UP

Ah. The continuation of all the shit I’ve watched but not blogged about.
Let’s start with the big guns first.

I forget I have a blog.

Ok, ok. Catch up time, but for only like half the time.

Bolt is Boring

Yes. I know. Talking animals. I understand that it is not real. But I still can't buy the stupid premise of this movie which totally killed it all for me. Maybe it's because I understand how a movie/TV show is made. Maybe it's because they take every chance to shatter my disbelief ("18-39 year old demographics"? They don't fucking believe in a magic goddamn dog ANYWAY!). Maybe it's because I saw some of the early version of Bolt art when it was still looking like Lilo & Stitch's sweet-ass style. But I could not dig this movie.

I'm sure it's fine for kids who don't question anything, and again, I understand the silliness of accepting talking animals but not the McGuffin for the story, but still. Every human was a stereotype and unfunny. The action is good, but the whole time I was thinking how much better The Incredibles was. Sooooo much better. The art style is generic CG flick with no pizzaz.

This is another one of those times where I am so glad I don't have kids just so I don't have to endure these kinds of movies over and over and over and over and over and...

Scissors are scary.

Timecrimes is a great little flick. It reminds me of cool mind benders like The Usual Suspects and Memento and Donnie Darko and mostly, Primer. It's the kind of movie you show friends to melt their brains. And also, great Spanish boobs.

They've created a slick time travel flick that has some cool rules and a great looking bad guy, The Scissor Man! All right, not quite that classic villian from the SNES and PS1 era, but only because Timecrimes' S-Man has smaller scissors. But that look is very cool, very memorable.

It's a good movie, one you'll grin at as you start to put the pieces together. It won't turn your brain to mush and demand an instant, second viewing like Primer, but you also don't need a degree in quantum physics to know what the hell just happened, either.

Damn you, Fatty!

I like Johnny To. Every movie of his I've seen, I've liked. Maybe not loved, but had a good time. PTU : Police Tactical Unit (or Into the Perilous Night:PTU which is just a sillier, cooler title) joins the likes of Exiled, The Mission and Fulltime Killer as movies of Mr. To I had a good time with.

I wonder how many of the names in the movie are real vs. bad/lazy translations. Fatty, Bald Head, Eye Ball...what the hell, man? I won't bother getting into the story, it's just a McGuffin for cop shenanigans to occur. And honestly, that's part of the reason that I didn't find this movie just super badass cool. After you've seen The Shield and The Wire, every other cop thing just feels 2nd rate.

But there's a lot of menace to the proceedings. The main band of roving cops, led by Sgt. Ho, rove the street like a gang, and in many ways, are. Beatings happen, people. And slappings. Slapping...not as shocking as allowing a man to lose his teeth thanks to the help of a law book (The Shield. Watch it if you havn't. You'll thank me, then God.) Maybe a slap means more on the streets where Ho is from.

It's definitely worth checking out for the opening scene in the restaurant, though, which I totally want to homage whenever I get around to making movies. The general air of menace is very cool on the shadowy streets of what appears to be a business district at night. It's Johnny To and he might not make the best movies, but he makes them damn entertaining.

Universal Soldier vs. Rachel Getting Married

In a happy turn of events, somewhat controlled by me, I received both Universal Soldier and Rachel Getting Married from Netflix today. I find that awesome, fantastic and amazing. I only briefly wondered which I would watch first. But the obvious choice was, of course, Universal Soldier.

But only because it would probably try to kick my ass if I didn't.